A Tale of Two Families

March 16, 2017, the LDS Church published on its Mormon Channel which appears on YouTube "The Mackintosh's [sic] Story-A Son Comes Out and a Family Loves."

Contrast this to the title of Janice's first book on this topic: My Darling From the Lions, A Boy Falls to Homosexuality, A Mother Turns to God, A Family is Changed Forever. 

Some think there are only two reactions to a child coming out as gay: rejection or love. But both reactions are based on false narratives. What usually happens is not really rejection and not really love. Neither of these are the Lord's solution.

The first family above decides to just "love" the child involved in homosexuality. So they didn't love their child before? When did they stop loving their child? Any mother should take exception to that. Of course it's not love they are talking about. It's acceptance of the sinful mindset. It's not just affection for the person but acceptance of the sin/lifestyle, too. Really? Acceptance of a very risky lifestyle/sin is some wonderful new kind of love? Where in the scriptures does it say that? Indeed, in the end the parents do accept homosexuality---as their son's immutable identity. How cruel is that? These are people who know better (see the Family Proclamation) pretending a despicable, age-old vice is somehow a young person's identity. In addition, there is no evidence that the parents care how he got there, if there was/is abuse or pornography, or what consequences there will be for his high-risk behavior. (See The Health Hazards of Homosexuality, a new, very fat book.) This isn't rocket technology. It's common sense. What is more, they don't seem to care at all about his future, including the welfare of his immortal soul. Doesn't sound like real love, does it? It's looks more like condemning their "loved one" to a miserable hedonistic future and eternal doom.

Now the rejection scenario. What may often happen in the rejection narrative is something like the parents taking any kind of stand against homosexual conduct (internet pornography and filthy communications are always a big part of it) or using any kind of tough love, whereupon the misbehaving kid mischaracterizes that as rejection and whines to the gay community and anyone else who will listen that he's been "kicked out." And this gets back to the Church---apparently the gay community has the Church's ear. Truth be told, the child chooses to leave the home of his own accord because he refuses to abide by the house rules. Kids themselves aren't being rejected. It's just the bad behaviors being called out. They don't like that. And there could be some emotional or mental illness in there, too, that is being ignored.

The trendy new idea of homosexuality being an identity (which has zero scientific or scriptural support) instead of what it is---an age-old sin of abominable lusts and behaviors--- has completely blind-sided just about everybody. If you believe that unlike every other sin this particular sin is who a person is and they can't help what they think, feel, and do, then of course you have to either accept the horrible behaviors along with the person, or reject the person himself. It's a no-win and a false and dangerous notion.

Of course there is one solution that works better than anything else. The second family above chooses the Lord's solutions. It turns to God and changes from the inside out. There's all sorts of repentance going on. There's all sorts of humility and reliance on the Savior and loving God more than anything or anyone else. When he finally hits bottom the boy voluntarily asks for and gets help and overcomes these wrong thoughts and feelings. He repents. He learns to redirect his thoughts and desires. He goes on to live a normal life. The whole family learns about fallen human nature, sin, Christ, repentance, redemption, and God's love. Everything important.The whole family learns how to APPLY the gospel of Jesus Christ.

See the difference? The first family's reaction is purely sociological, shallow, self-interested,pseudo-religious, and focused in the earthly moment with no thought of the future and very real risks and dangers for the individual.The second family's reaction is gospel-based, humble, repentant, God and Christ-centered, spiritually-focused, and about the overall well-being of the individual.

But even without religion playing any part, a family could care enough about the person on a health and well-being basis to root out the trouble, get educated, and offer to help their son get straightened out. It's common sense. It's biology. It's reality. It's about his future health and happiness, if only temporal.

For all intents and purposes the son in the first family won everybody over to his worldview. He left his faith and continues behaving badly. The second family came to Christ, virtue triumphed, and miracles happened all around. 

Make of this what you will: The first family gets to tell its story with the Church authority behind it. Stories like the second family's are not allowed. 

Think of all the families who see this Church video and the Deseret News article that accompanies it and think it's what they are supposed to do (against their conscience and better judgment) and so decide to mimic these ideas and actions. Think of all the young men being encouraged in homosexuality by their thoughtless families and by their church. What is encouraged will increase. Has anybody considered that there may be a humble, confused, suffering person out there who is not yet past feeling, who knows inside that what he's gotten himself into is really wrong, and who would love some encouragement on how to overcome these miserable unwanted feelings and habits? Where is the acceptance and love for him? There isn't any! Because it's politically incorrect! Because the world wouldn't like it! Because everybody appears to be brainwashed.

What these parents need to accept is that their son is currently a lost soul and apparently they are wandering, too. Accepting your child as gay and turning a blind eye to his sullied soul and his dangerous behavior and his unhappy future is the easy worldly way. How about separating his infinite worth from his sins? How about loving the sinner but not loving the sin? Yes, it's possible! How about standing firm in your knowledge of right and wrong, truth and error, and man's fallen condition? How about turning to God, repenting yourself, and seeking the Spirit for guidance continually? Now that's hard. Your kid won't like it. Lots of people here in Sodom where we now live won't like it. And yet that's what we're supposed to do.That's what the gospel and the scriptures and God and the Spirit and real parenting and even plain old common sense say to do.

Notice how there is never anything published these days about overcoming/repenting from homosexuality, nor are help or encouragement or even warnings offered. The lesson we are supposedly being taught from the above video and others like it? Just love. Just serve. It's outward appearances and performances that matter. It's families getting along that matters. It's the here and now that matters. There is to be no talk of heaven or hell. No calling to repentance. No testifying of Christ. No Christ as Savior from sin. No true religiosity.

Are you sufficiently outraged and disappointed? We hope so. Because if you are outraged and disappointed at these developments it's a sign of your nearness to God and goodness and truth.

The Deseret News  article is in the "Faith" section of the Mormon Church-owned newspaper. Doesn't sound like faith to us, unless your faith is not in God but in human beings and giving in to whatever your inexperienced, ignorant kids do so you can feel temporarily comfortable. Remember what C. S. Lewis wrote, anything worshiped other than God becomes a demon.

There are many comments on the video/article. Most are gay-affirming. Here are the comments we sent which are posted on the online comments section of the Deseret News article March 16, 2017. (We're actually really surprised they published them.) This one is Janice's:

"When these shallow pro-gay coming-out stories are told we never hear the dark backstory. Parents and leaders should care that underneath what you see is a pornographic, cyberspace, predatory, sex-addicted, narcissistic, phony, dead-end mindset and lifestyle. Many years ago in his teens my child was involved in homosexuality. The sinning was exciting, but he knew it was wrong and eventually, with the right help, got himself out. His authentic heart-wrenching story and Christ-centered beliefs are regularly recharacterized, dismissed, and met with hateful resistance, even threats. Interesting that the world-- and the church-- have zero love and acceptance and praise when it comes to stories like my son’s."


By the way, the Mormon Church and its entities, including BYU, Deseret News, Deseret Book, KSL TV, over the years has had many opportunities to tell our son's (and probably other people's) story. It has been summarily rejected time and time again by the powers that be. So we started our website, publishing company, and this blog. We are also on the radio Thursday mornings 10-noon, K-TALK 630 on your AM, available live online and an app for your phone. See our son's excellent book endorsed by LDS experts, Captain of My Soul and our other books with the gospel worldview on tidalwavebooks.com . Free on our website is the text of Me Tarzan, You Jane for the youngest children.

Here is Steve's comment:

"This is not a lifelong sentence for Xian. We all are tempted and are called on by Jesus to repent. These outside-of-God's-law feelings and desires can be schooled and overcome and left behind permanently. Jesus does love Xian, as he loves us all. But he loves us enough to invite us to repent and experience the mighty change of heart, not give in to the doctrines of the world. When he comes to the point where he would like help, have him find a good therapist who helps people desiring to change. He can be helped to leave his homosexual desires and behaviors behind."

Hey everybody, keep the faith, the real faith. No matter what people are saying or what the Church is doing for its own reasons, the real faith is still there if we want it.