Gay Marriage is No Solution

The following is our response to an LDS mother's email we received about how she is so grateful her homosexual son found a wonderful man for a partner to whom he is now married. Her feeling is that monogamous same-sex marriage is at least giving her son some security and happiness in this life, although she doesn't know what will happen to him in the next.

Thank you for sharing your feelings and experiences. We understand what a heart-wrenching situation this is for parents. People don’t bring you casseroles or plates of cookies. We have been there. The difference between us is that we perceived a different dilemma than you do. We did not consider the option of a monogamous homosexual relationship for our son. Back then Church leaders went along with the scriptures, saying homosexuality was not an identity; it was a sin to be resisted and repented of. Gay "marriage" did not exist 15 years ago. Our only dilemma concerned right and wrong, how to help our son repent of his bad behaviors, clean up his life, and get well. We did not know if this would happen. It took awhile for him to hit bottom and to find the right help, but not only did our son root out the causes, repent, and overcome his unwanted homosexual tendencies, our whole family learned what the gospel of Jesus Christ really means and how to apply it.

We encourage you to study our web site and read our blog. There is another side to this you are not considering. It’s the gospel solution (the reality of sin, Christ, repentance, redemption), which we know from the scriptures is more powerful than anything else to affect change. You have to feel you are a sinner to know Christ and to be freed of your sins. It is sad that people in the Church are not taking advantage of the gospel but are instead now giving in to the worldly notion that homosexuality is an immutable "identity." What a nightmare that would have been if I had been told that the horror my son was involved in was somehow "who he was." It never crossed my mind. I knew the thing he was involved in was wrong and I knew who he was: a formerly innocent and happy child of God who was caught up in a miserable age-old sin.

It's interesting that the gay marriage argument you are making is the same argument that the pro-abortionists first made. Yes, abortion is not good, it should be rare, but let's make it safer and more respectable, that is, done by doctors in a clinic instead of some filthy back alley, so to speak. But there is no nice way to kill a live unborn baby. It is always horrific. And many women who have had abortions are now sick and sorry about it in the extreme. We see now by these Planned Parenthood videos how the legalized and legitimized slaughtering of the unborn has become a form of birth control, commonplace, institutionalized, inhumane, greed and ideologically based, and the most barbaric practice imaginable. In the same vein, you are saying yes, homosexuality (sodomy) is bad but let's make it safer and more respectable, that is, legitimize it by calling it marriage, and hope they keep their sexuality between themselves. But there is no nice way to practice homosex. It is always sinful and violent to the human body, whether done with one partner or a hundred. Homosexuality, monogamous or promiscuous, does nothing to fulfill the human sexual nature; homosexuality only frustrates the human sexual nature.

People who hurt each other in this way are not showing love. They are sexually abusing each other. You need to know that homosexuality is by nature pornographic and promiscuous. Because it frustrates human sexuality. many can never get enough. “Open marriage” is often practiced. Libido-enhancing drugs are often used. Domestic violence is off the charts. Yes, some long-term gay partners may feel fondness and attachment for each other, but if they truly and unselfishly loved each other they wouldn't sexualize and objectify and abuse each others’ bodies. Most close human relationships are not sexual at all, such as parents with children, friendships, siblings, relatives, and on and on. You say your son has been with a wonderful person for six years. Yes, perhaps he is wonderful in the ways you are given to see, but not wonderful in all ways, and there are many years to come. As society encourages unlimited sexuality these practices will expand and increase.

Most people aren't thinking about what gay sex really is. Parents should think about it. Alas, we suppose it must be spelled out. A friend of ours is writing a big fat book about the myriad risks of gay sex, monogamous or not, risks which are cruelly being concealed. It reads like pornography, because the things they do are absolutely depraved. It's like they get a thrill out of mocking God, their own bodies, and even basic decency and cleanliness.(There is a reason the scriptures call these ideas and behaviors "filthy.") Homosexuality is unnatural and must be constantly stimulated by worse and worse enticements. These behaviors are commonplace in the gay community. The people who perform these acts in secret appear to be wonderful, talented, nice, productive citizens. Have you warned your son about these dangers? A loving parent would. There is nothing secure or happy about gay sex. We know parents whose kids are acting out but who take a firm stand against homosexuality, and they still have good relationships with their children.

Another point you make is that if your son doesn't get to have a gay partner for gay sex he is missing out on human intimacy and fulfillment. This is not true. There is no true intimacy in same-sex sex. As we've said it frustrates human sexuality, which was made for the opposite sexes. In addition, there are many people who don't participate in sex and live happy and fulfilled lives: single people, widowed people, disabled people, Catholic nuns and priests, to name a few. They enjoy intellectual, spiritual, and many other shared types of intimacy with others. Our oversexed culture is pushing a preposterous preoccupation with sex. Homosexualists want you to think sex is essential for happiness, but it is not. It is, or should be, only a small part of life, much less than, say, our appetite for food (which happens at least 3 times a day). Certainly not a person's primary identity.

By the way, if your son has truly been suicidal as you say, he may have much worse problems than his sexuality. Please don’t ignore that. Giving in to perverse sexual whims can make a person’s suicidality worse. That’s why Johns Hopkins does not perform sex change surgeries anymore. They found out the patients’ problems were not solved and suicidality increased. See our blog post “Beware the Gay Suicide Card.” Think about how “gay marriage” is a politically-driven and Godless social experiment. Historically the societal acceptance of homosexuality has proved disastrous.

To answer your question, gay marriage is no solution. Homosexuality does not deserve a respectable place in any society. It is harmful in any form and should be resisted and repented of. People can change their desires if they want to. That's what Christ offers. There is highly successful counseling available for those who truly wish to be free. We hope you give this some thought. It is a side of things that people don't get to hear, and it's the only right side. Watch our recent Stand4Truth Conference. If you give us your address we'll send you a free copy of our son's book, Captain of My Soul.