A Cursing and a Confounding

-Janice Graham

I have read through an online thread about reactions to changes in the LDS temple proceedings. It is so sad and there is so much confusion.  People are taking so many different views, and it appears to me they all have a strictly temporal focus, as in what affects us only here and now. Mormons who are too afraid to think for themselves are either gushing about and/or rationalizing the changes like mere sycophants or they are completely closing up, all as if they were not blessed with minds and hearts and access to the Spirit to know truth from error for themselves. Regarding anyone who is thinking at all, these changes are making them mad, from the feminists to the chauvinists and everyone else in between. Does anyone see how we are being tossed to and fro, how people aren't thinking things through, how people can't communicate with each other, and how we are being discombobulated simply because we have put too much trust in human beings?

Yes, all of this I have been reading feels like a cursing.  Our thoughts and communications are being confounded. And yes, we Mormons do put too much trust in ourselves and each other and in our leaders. Just listen to us! We need to get back down to earth and place our very human feet firmly on the very real ground. Even our leaders, in choice moments, will admit they aren’t perfect, that none of them have been, and that we mustn’t live on borrowed light. As such, rather than a cursing and a confounding, this could be a huge teaching moment. We could actually start to learn some real and terrible and beautiful things.

You know, I haven't heard anyone turning to Christ in all this confusion. I don’t hear about anybody relying fully on Christ as the source of all knowledge and truth. I don’t hear people seeking the Lord’s solutions. People are suffering and upset. Why don’t they turn to the Lord? Instead, what I hear is people relying on words printed on paper or men who have risen to some position or their own passionate personal opinions. I haven’t heard anyone talk about how they feel they know such and so because they have prayed about it and it has been confirmed as true or not by the Holy Ghost. People don’t think to do this, not really, because they have dumped the burden and care of their personal religiosity on someone or something else. They are bitter and angry at the injustices of things and have made that their idol. Or they think they or somebody they know knows everything. Or they are sycophants. Or whatever. None of these are part of the gospel. They are actually the opposite of it.

Christian churches exist as a place to meet together often to discuss the eternal welfare of our immortal souls. They are supposed to supply teaching and preaching and rejoicing in Christ so we can know and continually be reminded of where to look for a remission of our sins. That is any Christian church’s primary job, and if it is inefficient or weak or faulty in that, all the extra stuff becomes at best a seemingly harmless distraction and at worst an outright demon, as C. S. Lewis warned. Sorry, churches are abdicating the very reason they exist if they seek to avoid confronting the now controversial doctrinal and moral questions and evils of the times (such as by shortening church meetings on the pretext that more should be taught in the home).

Not that these changes in the temple issues are not real or important. I am pretty sad that I unthinkingly made covenants 45 years ago that weren’t right and that somehow don’t apply the same way anymore. Yes, it's confusing. But like I said, this can be a great learning experience. We can be sadder, yes, but wiser, and isn’t wisdom more important? Through a series of life experiences I had to learn not to rely on people like I used to. I now do my own spiritual homework.  Sometimes it’s hard and it’s painful, but it’s worth it if you love God and truth and you want to grow spiritually.  Sometimes it’s pretty easy to see what’s been happening, but even then it’s painful because we have to give up even more of that pride and idolatry that we have again slipped into relying on. It’s also pretty lonely among fellow church members who don’t think this way at all, who go to church to get callings and be seen and feel better about themselves. I know, because I used to be somewhat like that.

A while ago I had to learn to look for the Lord’s solutions. Yes, all of us are fallen beings, sinners, and yes, we can repent because of Christ. Yes, the gospel of Jesus Christ can be defined in a few words. God loved our eternal souls so much He sent His Son to die for our sins so we can be saved if we repent. No, the gospel is not about family, or whether we are male or female. (God is no respecter of persons; all souls are equally valuable.) It isn't to make people feel better about themselves (except as children of God with immeasurable worth apart from anything else about them or what they do). The gospel is plain and precious and it can apply to the everyday life, moment by moment, of anyone who is humble enough to accept it and who desires to learn and grow spiritually.

Sadly, most people, even church-goers, maybe especially church-goers, resist these simple and true concepts. Perhaps they think taking responsibility for the condition of one's own soul is too much work. It is a lot of work, the most difficult type of work, spiritual work. When you do actually accept the gospel, you have to continually repent, as in seeking the still small voice of the Lord to know truth from error and be continually corrected and instructed, especially where human beings are concerned, including oneself, and even where the scriptures are concerned, which have been messed with by human beings for centuries and influenced by all sorts of cultures and interpretations. No, I don’t rely on certain paper with certain patterns of ink printed on it. I rely on what the Spirit of the Lord says to me about scripture. What I get is always simple and grounded and full of common sense. But you have to take your emotions out of it. You have to kill yourself off, as it were. You have to love God first. That’s why it’s the first commandment.

So why don’t we hear the plain applied gospel more regularly and clearly in all of our church venues? Why are other things emphasized in its place? You’ll figure that out soon enough if you truly seek the Lord. Yes, you will be sadder but you will be wiser, and grow spiritually.

Do your own spiritual work. Use the faculties God gave you. Put aside your grievances. Forgive and repent. Pray about what you know to be true about God's love, the gospel of Jesus Christ, and why you are here on earth. The Spirit will confirm what is true. You will learn terribly lovely things and become a new creature in Christ. The rest, of some value or mere pretense, is minutiae in comparison.