Coming Out is an Excuse, Part 3

Another comment from Anon:

What am I healing from? When I was a small child I could recognize that I had some of these feelings. I would also here rhetoric like that often used in your page here- claiming that those is this situation are ill or evil. Growing up hearing those things I came to believe I was somehow fundamentally broken as a person.

I needed healing from that belief. I wasn't struggling not to cry for myself when I read your writing. I was hurt because I worried for others in my situation who are hiding this out of shame and fear- terrified they are not ok. These people could find your writing and have those fears validated.

God is not a massage therapist, he is a heart surgeon- but not the kind that cuts other's hearts. He heals them.

Dear Anon,

So glad you are still reading. We totally get where you are coming from.

First, small children do not sexualize themselves in any way unless they are abused. Untampered-with children recognizing they have gay sexual feelings is a false idea pushed by today's homosexualists. Don't buy into it. Children, including you, are born innocent about sex and sexuality. Sexuality, biologically and sociologically, develops later in life, during and after puberty, hopefully in healthy ways with exposure only to proper role models and true principles. So when you were a small child you couldn't have had sexual feelings, including gay feelings (which are sexual), unless you were abused in some way and so, taught bad ideas. (Sexual abuse comes in many packages. Short of actual molestation, it can take the form of peer abuse, language, inappropriate exposure, etc.)

So let's make this clear. Sexuality is learned, proper or improper, healthy or unhealthy. We are very sorry the culture around children today is teaching and modeling ideas that are sexually abusive and prohibit proper sexual development. Surely, you cannot deny that this is occurring.

Maybe you are confusing gay sexual feelings with a yearning for same-sex acceptance/friendships or an early gender nonconformity. Maybe people called you sexualized names when you didn't even know what those words meant. Nobody should base their life on what they did or felt as a child, what their harmless interests were or are, or the unkind names ignorant people called them. For example, children of either sex yearning for or loving  same-sex friends or liking either girlish or boyish toys/activities have nothing to do with sexuality. These are normal developmental phases that kids grow out of. The problem is how our wicked culture today has sexualized them.

"Sissies" and "tomboys" used to grow up to be normal, healthy, happy husbands and wives, fathers and mothers. Now many of them never grow up and decide to self-identify as gay. Now that is sad.

You seem to be saying people teased you for being effeminate or gay. But you weren't homosexual, not as a child (unless you felt that way because someone abused you and messed up your healthy sexual development). So what really happened is that people used rhetoric that hurt you for being you yourself, immature and undeveloped as you were and we all are when young, and you later turned that into being teased or bullied for being gay. It often happens that people who choose to self-identify as gay, rather than search out why they are burdened and and obsessed with same-sex sexual attraction, recast past experiences to validate their present choices. We hope this clears that up.

 About being "fundamentally broken." While we should all be taught that our souls are of immeasurable worth to God, and be treated as such (which doesn't always happen because we're here on earth where there is opposition in all things), it's not a bad thing to understand one's fundamental brokenness or vulnerability to sin and error. It's actually good.

Christianity is based on the principle that every human is fundamentally sinful and broken as a person. It's called the fall and it happened to Adam and Eve and is inherent in us all, also referred to as the natural man. This is why God sent His Son, Jesus Christ. It's very important to understand this. People who do not are not real Christians. It is a modern sophistry to reject this principle and whine about unkind people making you think you are broken. Of course you are. Every human being needs Christ to make them whole, that is, clean and forgiven through humility, repentance, and reliance on Christ.

The gospel is about our immortal souls. How we react to things beyond our control, how we school our human desires and tendencies, who we give credit to, what we worship, who we rely on, these sorts of things are what will determine the fate of our souls.Christ is not so much about our temporal needs as our spiritual needs. Our eternity. People get this mixed up. They want Christ just to be about the now, things that we humans can see and hear and touch. But ultimately that isn't what he is about.

You are saying we at SoL are hurtful because we point out God's laws. We are just the messenger. You are arguing with God's "rhetoric," not ours. His Love is more far-reaching and far-seeing than human love. He wants us to give us everything He has, the riches of eternity.

You will never get anywhere with that victim mentality. Nobody can have control over your soul unless you let them. If you have been abused, you must face it and get help. The Spirit will teach you of your great worth to God. You can pray about it, and you'll soon know how precious you are to God.

We understand where you got these incomplete and false ideas about both homosexuality and religion. It's too bad that God has been turned into merely a temporal friend who requires nothing of us rather than what He is: our Heavenly Father who is giving us a great, difficult test and wants to give us all He has. God and Jesus must be taken whole. There is much required of us if we want to come to Jesus. When we know the truth we are obligated to share it and warn others, in our own sphere of influence. (Again, you do not have to enter this sphere; no one is forcing anyone to read this blog.) Each of us must submit our hearts to be broken (or cut open) in order to be made whole---through repentance and faith in Christ.