Monday, March 20, 2017

Coming Out is an Excuse for Very Bad Behavior

We hear all these glowing stories about young people coming out to their families and the families opening their arms in nonjudgmental "love." Apparently once they "come out" it's a done deal. But it certainly shouldn't be. At this point several questions should be asked if the families really care about the young person. These include:

How has his normal sexual development been hijacked?
Did someone sexually abuse him as a youngster?
Was there peer abuse?
Does he masturbate?
Where did he get these ideas?
What has he been thinking about?
What has he been reading?
Gay books, periodicals, web sites, blogs?
Is advocacy of homosexuality happening at his school?
Pro-gay "days," teachers, clubs, counseling?
What has he been looking at?
Pro-gay movies and shows?
Sex, sex, and more sex?
Same-sex pornography?
Is he making his own same-sex porn?
Where has he been going?
Gay-affirming groups, gay pride parades, gay sex workshops, gay bars?
Who has he been talking to, online or in person?
What risky/dangerous/illegal behaviors has he been involved with?
Alcohol? Drugs? Smoking?
Phone sex? Chat rooms?
Cross-dressing? Bath houses?
Anonymous sex in public rest rooms?
Cruising? Bromances? Gaycations?
Chem-sex orgies? Crystal meth?
Who has he been seeing?
Has he had sexual encounters with older men?
Who initiated him? How many? Where?
Is he involved in child sex abuse (pedophilia)?
Or seduction of younger males (pederasty)?
Has he been tested for HIV/AIDS?
If he had HIV would he care if he spread it to others?

Ask the young person you know who has become emboldened to the point of coming out. Ask him (or her) if they do or have done any of these things. If they are the least bit honest they will admit involvement with at least some of the above. 

It takes a lot of bad thinking and/or a lot of bad behavior, and great loss of innocence and moral sensibility to publicly come out as what is now called gay. You have to be, sexual morality-wise at least, what the scriptures say "past feeling."

Parents and families and leaders should know that this type of sexuality has to be fed. It is pornographic in nature. Stimulation must increase to maintain excitement. It's highly addictive and dangerous. Young people get their information from the internet. Young people use internet porn to "confirm" that porn of this or that type turns them on. Porn keeps their sexuality unnaturally and perversely inflamed. (Of course enough exposure to anything sexual can be arousing to anyone.)

What is the matter with parents and leaders that they don't seem to care that these are the things that teach a person homosexuality? How else would they learn it? Like the old song says, children live what they learn.

We wonder if parents and leaders would still show all this acceptance and love and compassion and understanding to a kid who confessed and made pubic some really nasty and perhaps illegal gay and gay-related stuff he had done. Apparently they would rather cover up their eyes, ears, and mouths like monkeys, and hope that kind of behavior isn't happening. But it is. Oh yes, it is. And it's probably all over their facebook page or blog. This is not a time to be scandalized or squeamish.

So. Instead of confessing all these bad obsessive thoughts and behaviors that would turn their parents' hair white, the proud, unrepentant, and very messed up younger people involved in this filthy stuff cover their sins by "coming out." It's trendy. It's popular. Everybody has drunk the koolaid. They've been conditioned. If indoctrinated and harangued and badgered and mocked and shamed enough most everybody will give into the false notion that gayness can't be argued with or changed. If they announce they are gay, that's the end of it. The young gay person is supposed to know everything about sex and sexuality, while their parents, who have a lifetime of experience, are ignorant, unenlightened morons. No, there is no scientific explanation or medical diagnosis. In fact, there is plenty that says there's no such thing. But no matter. You just have to believe what the inexperienced, messed-up, young person says, that he is "gay," which also happens to be a very popular and politicized trend at the moment. The unrepentant person knows if he comes out as gay he has a green light to think and do whatever he wants unhindered. But oh, well. Have to accept it.

No, you don't.

We didn't accept it. Our kid didn't accept it. He wasn't past feeling yet. He was unhappy and conflicted. He wanted out. He wanted to be the decent person people thought he was. He was humbled. So instead of "coming out" he privately confessed his bad behaviors--everything--, got his LDS mission call cancelled, got proper counseling, and repented, all the while suffering embarrassment and questions and shunning and lectures and rejection in almost every aspect of his life.  And we supported him because it was right and brave; and his whole life, and the life to come, depended on it.(No, he hadn't gone "all the way" but there are plenty of bad things you can read, look at, listen to, lust, do, and have done to you short of that.)

Instead of coming out he confessed. Instead of coming out he repented. Instead of coming out he increased his faith in Christ. Instead of coming out he forsook his sins. Instead of coming out he changed his mind. He found the love of his life. He got married. He has kids. He is living a normal, healthy, productive, faithful life.

Whose future is more bright? The kid who came out to the world, whom everybody pretends isn't thinking or doing anything wrong or risky, who gets indulged and coddled and pandered to, whom the world loves to love? Or the kid who privately confessed and repented of his sins, is living a healthy life, loves the Lord, and whom his family genuinely respects and admires?

Which way is the Lord's way?

We say "coming out" is a way to excuse, validate, and celebrate very bad lusts and acts. Coming out is a way to force others not to question your very bad choices. Coming out is a way to shut people up if they wonder that you are involved in some very bad behaviors. Who on earth but gays gets such a pass?

It's not just a coming out, it's an out. And nobody should accept it.

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