Saturday, July 19, 2014

Misguided Compassion vs. The Word of God

"We can't hope to win our child back unless we include him," say desperate LDS families with unrepentant gay family members. "Compassion is the thing."

Our  hearts go out to such families. But is this really the way to win loved ones back? First of all, let's define include. Some think including means treating gay family members the same as they always have, pretending like nothing's wrong, welcoming current same-sex sexual partners into their homes and families. But including a person in your life can also mean spending time with them individually, keeping in touch, setting rules for family gatherings that do not promote homosexualism, and holding your ground. Both are inclusive of the person, but the first implicitly shows an acceptance of the bad ideas and behaviors as well.

Next let's define compassion. This word has been hijacked. Real compassion includes caring about a person's long-term well-being. Compassion is not about tolerating sin to keep up appearances. That would be the opposite of compassion, a sort of condemning the person to hell, really. These people are not the total victims they purport to be. Don't be deceived. However much you love and admire them, however wonderful and talented they are, whatever else good they may be doing, they are also deeply involved in risky pleasure-seeking sin, a very old and despicable vice.

About winning the family member back --- to the church, to the way they were taught, to righteousness. We have never seen this happen using the above tactic. It's Burke's famous quote brought home: "All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." When Ammon went to preach to the wickedest of Lamanites (wild, ferocious, hardened, murderers, robbers, hearts set on riches) and had much success, it wasn't because he pretended nothing was wrong. It was because he preached sin and repentance and Christ (Alma 17-20). Those whose hearts were changed became a righteous people.

Families who treat this problem by shrugging their shoulders, turning a blind eye, and merely putting up with it may end up being won over themselves, brought along to homosexualism bit by bit. No one is immune. This is obviously what happened in Sodom and Gomorrah. The vice spread and people just got used to it. Getting everyone used to homosexuality, even to recruit youth, family supporters, and activists, are stated goals of the gay agenda. Proud out gays have no doubt been trained on how to bring their families along, to flatter, to be very cunning and patient, and to see every inch as a gain. Let's not forget the scriptural warning against complacency, against the all-is-well-in-Zion philosophy (2 Nephi 28:21). Such prideful apathy brings with it slow and steady degradation.

Again, this doesn't have to mean we reject our wayward loved ones. Not at all. Setting boundaries is not the same as cutting a person out of your life, no matter what they say or how they react. There are many ways to show love and concern without allowing proud homosexualism, or any other shameless sinfulness, into our midst. Meet with them one-on-one. Express sincere love and concern often. Write. Call. Educate yourself. Offer facts and help in overcoming homosexuality. Support anything wholesome they are involved in. If the gay family member says they feel rejected in spite of continuing efforts of this kind on the family's part, the problem lies with them. You can't force people to be humble, to confess sin, to repent, to change. In this case, theirs are the hearts that must be softened, not yours. 

Most importantly, live your religion from the inside out. The misguided and perhaps self-serving compassion practiced by inclusive families being overrun by homosexualism is not the word of God. It's not only the path of least resistance, it's the devil's way. The word of God is the iron rod in Lehi's dream, more powerful than anything else (Alma 31:5). Preach it. Apply it. Love it. Have faith in it. Be patient. Be humble. Be confident in the Lord. Make Christ the Redeemer your center --- not family, not temples, not missions, not callings, not accomplishments, not service. Love God before all else. Be a living example of applying basic gospel principles such as faith and repentance in every facet of your own life. Seek the Spirit to know when and how to share your beliefs. Love all your family members enough to give them your conviction of the value of morality, health, and truth. Even as you find ways to truly love and safely interact with your wayward loved one, never get used to the sinful vice of homosexuality. Never give it respect. Never get comfortable with it.

This will be difficult. This will be uncomfortable. This is be a rocky road. But as for you and your house, you will be serving the Lord. 

1 comment:

Chordsoffaith said...

Janice, I just can't tell you how much sense your blog entries make to me. You just don't hear people saying these things, but they are TRUE! This is the attitude families should have toward their same-sex-attracted family members.