Wednesday, December 21, 2011

A Christmas Message to our Detractors

Dear Anonymous Commentors,

Merry Christmas! We love you! Nothing you write to us can keep us from valuing you as God's precious children. We wish and hope the very best for you in the truest sense of the word charity. "Charity. . . is the pure love of Christ, a love so centered in righteousness that the possessor has no aim or desire except for the eternal welfare of his own soul and for the souls of those around him" (Bruce R. McConkie).

We are grateful you read our blog and visit our web site. We show another side of this issue you are missing because you have been influenced by the licentious, secular world around you and are being shamelessly exploited. Indeed, there are a dozen views about anything important until you know the answer. Then there is only one correct view -- the truth.

The truth is often uncomfortable, even extremely painful. It may sound stodgy, preachy, or harsh. But people who really care about truth and about the worth of souls will stand for reality and righteousness no matter how unpopular it is.

About church leaders, we will say once again, obviously there is a lack of unity on this issue. You are ignoring the Holy Scriptures, the Spirit, and a mountain of prophetic warnings if you really think the orthodox LDS Church has accepted homosexuality even in theory as normal and healthy. If some superficial concessions have been made here and there for those who find themselves experiencing same-sex sexual attractions, you might want to consider that the enormous pressure that has been leveled against every church, and Biblical religion in general, could be the cause rather than any official embrace of the false and foolish idea that sane, accountable people cannot heal from abuses, reject falsehoods, and learn to school their sexual feelings, thoughts, and desires. Indeed, this principle is required of all of us.

We believe in the immeasurable worth of souls and their great potential. We believe you deserve the truth.We know there is a way back for those precious individuals who have been taken in by the insidious modern abstraction of a very old vice.

Keep reading and Lord bless.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Support for last post

In the middle of reviewing a book by Arthur Goldberg, Light in the Closet, Torah, Homosexuality and the Power to Change, 2008, we had to post this great quote that supports our last post.

[T]he challenges of living in sexual propriety apply to every Jew, not just homosexuals, and to every person, not just Jews. For a man or woman burdened with an "irresistible" attraction for the opposite sex -- or with any other variety of sexual brokenness -- it is no easier to avoid self indulgence than for a gay man or woman to shun same-sex contacts and fantasies. Certainly no Jew, no person, has the right or the authority to amend the Torah to allow for his or her own (or other persons') special sexual "needs." To believe the contrary might be soothing, but it is plainly delusional.

Friday, December 2, 2011

How about UPOGA: Understanding Premarital Opposite-Gender Attraction?

We have an idea for a new student group to meet at BYU every Thursday night. It's called Understanding Premarital Opposite-Gender Attraction, UPOGA. There is a real need because a lot of students have all sorts of problems with this, and if they could just meet together with others who are struggling, it would make them feel so much better.

There are several kinds of students who need this support group. Kids with POGA come from all sorts of backgrounds. But all have these sexual thoughts and feelings that give them their primary identity and the Church won't let them indulge in them. This causes all kinds of trauma and some are forced to escape into pornography, masturbation, and are even suicidal. Those who slip up and do act out sexually on their premarital opposite-gender attractions are left feeling horribly guilty and ashamed, but they can't seem to stop. After all, it's natural and normal to have sexual feelings and scientists say resisting them is unhealthy. The Church causes even more trauma because of the conflict these poor people must endure between their religion's rules and who they are as sexual beings.

Those with POGA who biologically can't control their sexual thoughts, feelings, and/or the spectrum of consequent sexual behaviors causing them all kinds of unhealthy trauma and conflict here and now, just want to have fun, aren't ready to get married yet, or haven't met the person they want to marry. But there are others. These are POGA students who have lost all hope of marriage. They don't get asked on dates, have never even had a boyfriend or girlfriend and are certain they never will. Others have intentionally decided against ever getting married. They have lost faith in the institution because of the high divorce rate or traumatic personal experiences with their parents' divorces. Others just can't see themselves committing to all that responsibility that marriage and family entails. Some have made up their minds they will not bring children into this sad, suffering world; there are those who have even had themselves sterilized. Some young women are on the pill as a matter of principle, in hopeful preparation for when rules against premarital sex are abolished.

All these POGA students have one thing in common. They feel it is silly and unfair that sex must be linked to marriage/mating. As things now stand they must resign themselves to secrecy, guilt, conflict, and shame, or being celibate, some for the rest of their lives. They need a sexual support group. Although we may not agree with some of their beliefs and ideas, we are called upon to tolerate and respect them. It would really help if they could meet with like-minded similarly sexually-frustrated students.

The Honor Code states that people at BYU "may not influence or seek to influence others to engage in behavior inconsistent with the Honor Code," but this group wouldn't do that. Or would it? What would they discuss at these meetings? What influences would the group be exposed to?

Well, they would surely talk about how they can't help who they are and what they feel. They'd discuss the healthfulness and acceptability of premarital sex. They'd keep abreast of the great new methods of pregnancy and disease prevention that have paved the way for "safe sex." They'd bring up books to read and movies to see that promote premarital sex, so as to make their members feel accepted and comfortable with their feelings.

And the social aspect alone! The loneliness and lovelessness these unfulfilled young people feel can be overwhelming. It would be so great if they could hook up with people who feel the same way: that prohibiting premarital sex is cruel and intolerant and heterophobic.

They'll share stories about the difficulties they've had with religious extremists and fundamentalists in their own church who insist on foisting old-fashioned ideas about chastity on them, and the unConstitutional sexual orientation discrimination they feel. They'll plan ways to get the Honor Code changed to gradually allow premarital sex, step by step. They'll talk about putting pressure on the whole Church and enlightening the culture to come out of the dark ages and catch up with the world.

They'd arrange panels of older and more experienced sufferers of POGA who would give them sex-centered words to live by, strategies for alleviating at least some of their sexual frustrations while technically keeping the Honor Code, and hope in a brighter future society when sex would be allowed and equally available for all people regardless of marital status.

They'd prepare arguments like, if they could just release their sexual tensions by practicing premarital sex with the support of the Church, the school, their families, friends, and society as a whole, they would do better in school, avoid hopeless suicidality, and be freed from the oppressive cultural pressure toward the lifelong commitment of marriage and family. They could even dream up future programs that would provide needed sexual love experiences on demand, anonymously if desired, and free of commitment, responsibility, or guilt feelings. Their goal would be to promote understanding why premarital sex is normal and natural and must be allowed equally for everyone.


Okay, we hope you get the message. We don't mean to make light of the seriousness of sex or truly compare male-female fornication with maladaptive homosexual behavior. Nor do we wish to belittle the very real problem of unwanted homosexual tendencies. We just mean to point out how BYU's USGA (Understanding Same-Gender Attraction) group does break the Honor Code by influencing or seeking to influence students toward unchaste (and inordinately risky) behaviors. We have attended one of these meetings. Our impression is that they are based on the affirming of homosexuality, serve as a place to meet, make friends, and/or act out with like-minded and similarly tempted people, provide a forum in which to address sexuality-based grievances, present homosexual behaviors in a positive light (we witnessed this firsthand), and mean to usurp existing standards of morality. And worst of all, the group doesn't offer any hope or help at all in overcoming unwanted same-gender attraction.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Looking Back on Lot's Wife

Why did Lot's wife look back on Sodom and Gomorrah? Why was that so bad that she was turned into a pillar of salt? We'd like to suggest the reason.

To review, when Abraham couldn't find even ten righteous people in the twin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, his nephew Lot was told to gather his family and leave because the Lord was going to have the whole place destroyed. He was told not to look back. Lot obeyed and took his wife and daughters. On the way out of town, Lot's wife did something that can give us some important insight into our own hearts. But first let's use our imaginations a little and set the stage, assuming she was not among the very wicked.

Sodom was where Lot's wife lived. It was her home, where she was raising her family. She probably went to some sort of church, belonged to ladies' groups, had friends she loved and regular activities she participated in. Sure, there was a lot of wickedness going on, but her friends didn't seem to think it was wicked at all and she had learned to look the other way. It was just the way things were. You got used to it.

Then the Lord said they had to leave. We assume Lot's wife knew why. It was pretty bad. People were totally ignoring God and His laws according to Abraham and all the ancient teachings and prophets, and spreading bad ideas and acting up in all sorts of lawless ways. Of course she had to go with her husband and family, especially since the place was going to be destroyed.

On the way out of town, Lot's wife turned back for one last look at everything she had called home going up in smoke. And in that moment of hesitation, we are told she was turned into a pillar of salt. Why did she look back and why did she seem to self-destruct, to lose her soul?

Maybe at the last moment something pulled on Lot's wife's heartstrings. Perhaps it suddenly hit her what she was leaving behind and how her friends were dying. Sure, there was some wickedness, but this was her home, her church, these were her good friends, this was her life. Was it really so bad as that? It was a moment of weakness, but apparently a character-defining one, one that revealed what kind of person she really was. Perhaps she was a bit too comfortable living in Sodom and Gomorrah. Maybe she cherished it as her real home. Maybe she was sorry to leave it, deep down. Maybe she realized she would rather have stayed there than have to start all over again in a new place with new friends. Maybe she didn't mind the wicked environment, so long as she had her life and her comforts, so long as her own family was righteous. Maybe she was sorry for all the wrong reasons.

Now, what if you and I lived in Sodom and Gomorrah? Oh, wait, we do. We've been told the world is even more wicked now than it was then. Would we be sorry if the Lord told us we had to leave? Would our thoughts betray us? As in . . .

Sure, there's some goofy stuff going on, but there's a lot of good stuff mixed in. Why should we miss out? Besides, we do pretty well looking the other way. Maybe the destruction thing is only a bluff. Surely the Lord wouldn't destroy all our friends. Emphasize the positive, overlook the negative, we always say!

Do we tend to tidy up the reality of the wickedness occurring so we can go on with our daily routines, enjoy our entertainments and activities, keep all our friends and associations, advance in our standing and positions?

Well, we prefer to call that being non-judgmental.
We take a lot of pride in being non-judgmental. Isn't that what Jesus was all about, just loving everybody and being tolerant and respectful of all beliefs and ideas? Just live and let live? Maybe the bad ideas and behaviors will go away if we ignore them.

Would we be reluctant to leave it all behind if the Lord commanded us to, even though we knew it was wicked beyond repair?

Well, why not? It isn't so bad once you've gotten used to it!

If we did decide to obey, would we look back in a moment of weakness and regret?

How could we resist? It would be so unfeeling seeing as how it was the home we loved and was about to be destroyed!

It seems we mustn't get too comfortable with the ways of the world. In fact, we'd best forsake Sodom and Gomorrah now, deep down in our hearts. Our hearts need changing, if they haven't been, and then they need continual turning back to God. Imperfect and in need of a Savior as we all are, we can still be certain where our real treasure lies and where our true loyalties are. On important unchanging issues we can know what is right and what is wrong. Come what may, we can be firm in our beliefs. We can practice loving God more than any earthly thing, feel His love, and never look back.